i wake up buzzing, my world off balance. i’m unsure whether i can make it out of bed or not. the hallmarks of a vertigo episode very obvious, but this new bully has been switching it up; making it so i can partially function for awhile, albeit poorly, and then it takes me down. hard.
it would figure, this being the first day of holidays, a hopeful sliver of sun peeking through a gap in my otherwise dark sleeping space. so i gingerly push it and try my luck. the threat of falling is imminent so i am prudent about navigating my morning. i seek out surfaces to steady me and there’ll be no bending over to retrieve anything, not until my world complete rights itself. doing that would ensure a swoon. sorry bijou, breakfast will be late.
this is the newest development in my life, a weird health issue that is like but unlike a condition that is documented but virtually untreatable by traditional methods. i’m already barely keeping the beast at bay by dosing with another drug and then there’s this. sexy name, vertigo that, but it is not pleasant. it’s bad enough i don’t want to get up most days and enter reluctantly into the life that is now mine, this bastard ensures i won’t. and not pleasantly by rendering me unconscious or anything like that. i am painfully aware of my situation as i dip in and out of a fitful consciousness while dealing what a few of hallmarks of it which are decidedly undignified.
i walked away from this for awhile and i’ve been able to manage some coffee, and got myself to dancing to an energetic track on songza so i think i’ll be OK. Not 100% but alright. Who’s 100% anyway?
I’ve formulated a loose plan for today. I’m going to put a smile on my face and go. It’s what I do. off i go.