it's been so long since I actually set aside a moment for my blog I can't remeber when it was, even now I am stealing a few moments of my lunch to get something down. The larger issue is do I have anything relevant to say? Not really. I was inspired to try and push aside this chronic abject apathy by julie and julia; get back at it, but to what? Continue to generally observe, comment and occasionally kvetch and rant?
as I throw words into the box I am inclined to ask myself: who reads my bog and why? Do I care? Do people care about the boring minutae of my small life or of the stuff that swirls in my noggin, because that's all it is. I work, go to the gym occasionally, play Wii and generally exist in a very small universe. Is my universe thought provoking or at all interesting to the outside observer. Living inside its confines, it doesn't feel like it.
so I thought about relevance and theme and I haven't hit upon anything that might suit me. I'm not political or a satirist, or particularly skilled at anything (maybe that's an idea….hmmmmm) I just write elliptical prose from time to time. I don't write for an audience or as if anyone is reading. I write to let the words out to dance and play. I hope to become a better writer. I hope to publish something one day. Whether or not it is the great canadian novel remains to be seen. Working in this space is exercise, and like the physical I do tend to be lazy and put it off.
i've been listening to a few different podcastsi disovered: my favourites are memory palace and wnyc radiolab. I'm captivated and my thoughts provoked. my wind marvels at the ease at how the announcers banter and trade thoughts and weave rich stories that make me want to hear more. i'd like to possess that skill. deft use of language to communicate thoughts and ideas. i write as i speak so naturally i strive to write like that.
so i persist and maybe if i keep pushing on i might break through this barrier i've been butting up against. myself.